Trying to be enough? Telling yourself you are enough? Guess what? You can’t and you aren’t. Only with Jesus can you be enough. If you have Him then don’t worry because He is enough and THAT is what makes you enough.
This is the thought that crept into my mind as I was driving home from the hair salon today. I should have been feeling renewed, energetic, and happy. Ready to conquer the world. After all I have brand new “do”! But I didn’t feel that way at all. In fact, I felt down right yucky. I felt dull. I felt dread. I felt aggravated. I have no explanation as to why I feel this way.
It’s just there.
I like to post positive uplifting things on my social media so another post from my friend Rachael struck a cord with me today. ( It’s an awesome post if you would like to read it here ) It made me stop and think about what I show in my social media posts daily. Was it real? Was it authentic? Was it helpful? Or was it giving a false impression that I have it all together?
Because I don’t.
So I want to take this time to share a part of myself with you. I also commit to doing it a little more often.
I’m feeling yucky today. Down with no reason. Sad without a cause. “I’m tired” is on repeat without me ever really stopping to analyze if I am truly tired. This is my life a few days a month at least.
Here’s how it goes. I wake up in a funk. Not wanting to face another day. Focused on the things that aren’t going right in my life instead of all the things that are. I search scriptures for comforting words without really reading them. I pray without really believing what I’m asking for. I fill all the diffusers, slather on all the oils, fix the perfect cup of tea to “enjoy” and to “change my mindset”. But nothing works until I hear the still small whisper of God saying, “My grace is sufficient for today.” Then I can smile and rest with what I am feeling. Just be.
Something happens when I accept that I’m not enough today. That I need Him to, as the song says, meet me here. Something changes when I surrender and stop trying to convince myself that I am enough. I am not enough. I need Him. I will always need Him and that is okay because that is the way that He made me. I’m right where I am supposed to be. As I accept and acknowledge this truth a lightness begins to take over and a smile spreads across my face. I am not enough and that is okay because I don’t have to be enough. I wasn’t designed to be enough.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not suddenly taken over with joy at the thought of the dishes and vacuuming that I get to do today but… I do feel an “okayness” with where I am.
Trying to be enough? Telling yourself you are enough? Guess what? You aren’t and you can’t. Only with Jesus can you be enough. If you have Him then don’t worry because He is enough and THAT my friend is what makes you enough.
😊
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